I have become a total sociophobe! I used to THINK I had friends. Boy, was I wrong. I was a friend, but it looks like maybe I was fooling myself. Haven't writeen in awhile. No one reads my blog so I guess it is sort of a diary more then anything. Today's subject: No such thing as BFF. Maybe 30 years before you part ways but eventually it happens and it is usually over some stupid guy. Always seems like they got what you have or they think you got what what they want, whether you do or not. Facebook - what a joke. Who has 50 or 100 people that really give a crap about you. They're just nosy. Or want to rub your nose in what they have and know you don't. My highschool reunion is coming up - 30 years. I am not going. Hell, I had apanic attack at the last one. One before that, I coulnd't wait to leave - trouble was it was on a Paddle Wheeler and I wasn't about to jump ship and swim for it in a dress and heels. Truth is, noone of the people I met betwee 1975 and 1982 matter at all. Maybe 1, but that's all. How these people going to seay they're my "friend" when thye haven't tried to call or locate me in 30 years. I'm not hard to find. I am not about to spend 45.00 just to get sick and be humiliated by a bunch of cheerleaders, majorettes, and jocks who want to relive thier glory days. They were not glorious for me. Much hasn't changed. I am just not drunk all the time anymore. Alcohol probably saved me from being another teen suicide statistic. I don't drink anymore. Truth is, I just don't want to deal with drama - yours, mine or anyone elses. I don't believe love or friendship last forever. If they really exist. Not by my definition. There's only people who use you and peole that you use. As long as it suits... Prove me wrong. I dare you.